Integral Assessment

I know that this is a day late but better now than never!
I practiced some deep breathing the other day, while I drove in my car as I worked throwing newspapers out my car window. I was quite angry about my sons father leaving town, leaving us alone in town with no one else to help. Or at least there is one person, but I see this person I don't care for. Why would I leave my son with someone I don't trust or even hardly know?! Anyway, to relieve the tension I practiced focusing on my newspaper route and deep breathing. It really helped me. I didn't feel so much anxiety built up. 

The 6 Principles of Integral Assessment
1. The goal of integral health is to alleviate needless suffering and promote human flourishing.
2.Integral health recognizes the distinction between short-term relief of needless suffering and permanent relief.
3. Integral health recognizes the distinction between immediate pleasure and long-term flourishing.
4. Psychospiritual development is an essential component of integral health.
5. Integral assessment relies on deep listening and guidance.
6. Integral assessment addresses the aspects, levels, and lines of development that are relevant to our current circumstance.

What I discover about myself during this assessment is that I am in a lot of pain and distress in important areas of my life being a mother. Family life is distressing because there is none. My son's father is causing a lot of this; I would have to physically leave the state of Washington to move on in my life. That is how I would further grow and develop. My life does not need to be like a movie; I don't want to be a part of it- so I need to make the change in order to get out.
In #2 I realize that I would be more understanding of my sons fathers mistakes if things were different; if he had really taken action with his words. He has gone the opposite direction- leading me to think that he loves living a complicated life. I may end up having a heart attack from all the stress.
I realize that I flourish around people, for the past 4-5 years I have been a bit isolated doing online schooling and working a non-traditional job delivering newspapers. This kind of schedule has put me at risk of health and mental distress from the lack of sleep. I know I am much happier when I have a full nights sleep! 
I also realize with all this nonsense in my life, I flourish talking out my issues and problems to a counselor. Journaling has helped me in the past as well. I know that improving my attitude is another thing. I hate being so mad and frustrated all the time, it's very draining emotionally and physically. I just feel that if certain things change, so would my attitude.

Unit 5 The Subtle Mind

UNIT 5 BLOG

Compare and contrast the Loving Kindness exercise and the Subtle mind exercise. Explain your experience including the benefits, frustrations etc.

I opened up the audio of loving kindness first to spark my memory on how I felt during that experience. I remember the little bits of frustration not knowing what to think about during some of the long verbal pauses. But the best part of that experience was visualizing my son and how that motherly kind of connection and love I experienced. I could feel myself really opening and actually smiling to myself with that thought. The other part of it that was frustrating for me was visualizing the enemy-person in front of me. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t do it. Maybe in time it will happen, but not now.
Listening to the subtle mind exercise, using the breath as key during this it was an automatic relaxation for me. I totally benefited from this by falling asleep. Also doesn’t help that I have been awake since 2am this morning and here I am typing away doing this in the early evening of Sunday night at 5:30 pm. Doing this exercise after being awake all day like this made me realize how tired I really am! Looks like I will be going to bed early. (I deliver newspapers early in the mornings everyday.) I need a new job!


Discuss the connection of the spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness. Explain how the connection is manifested in your personal life.

I think that spiritual wellness and well-being are a part of the same healthy life. When spiritual wellness is strong you have a tendency to feel better about yourself. Providing a positive outlook on life will translate to a better mental health feeling happy, stronger and in control. For me, this is a big step in surviving a crisis in life or that of someone I have loved.
My spiritual wellness started failing me after a nasty divorce. After that it was, one thing after another. So now I feel as though I have no faith, no healthy spiritual wellness due to some serious blows to my heart. This has really affected my mental and physical well being. My mental well being is now accentuated by extreme stress and anxiety. I know that I cannot continue this very much longer because in the long run it will affect me physically. This is how all 3 have manifested in my life, and as soon as I am done with school- hopefully after this term- I will be able to start making some choices in my life to improve myself for me and for my son.

UNIT 4 Loving-Kindness

For Unit 4's audio on practicing loving-kindness, I enjoyed it for the most part. The relaxation pieces made me want to fall asleep, but the visualizing people and opening my heart to feel a certain way was interesting. I easily visualized my 19-month-old son, and could feel myself beaming. He is my only pure happiness right now. I could easily feel the emotions and myself open up during this. I could picture a person possibly suffering, my 88 year old grandma. She is being cared for in an assisted living home in Massachusetts because she is becoming more and more unstable on her feet. I don't always know what is going on in my family because I live in Washington state and most of my family resides on the east coast in Massachusetts and Rhode Island.

The parts I had a hard time with was the big empty-ness of the sound of waves. It was relaxing, but I didn't know what to be thinking about at times so I was drifting to sleep but was startled each time the voice started up! Then the part about visualizing a field of people in front of you; family, friends, and enemies. I actually do have an enemy at the moment and I just couldn't put that person there. I had no problem putting everyone else there in front of me, my son, his father, my family. But that one person, ooh, just couldn't do it! Maybe its my anger, resentment, I don't know! I just wasn't able to give that person a kind thought or feeling. It could be something inside of me still dealing with the person because of a complicated relationship.

This is a kind of exercise I know I should be practicing everyday. As our reading in the texts have stated about the relationship between lifestyle/ attitudes and heart disease, I feel as if I am setting myself up for a heart attack one of these days. My constant negative attitude and outlook really needs to change! I feel as though my only happiness I have is my son sometimes!

Reflections

Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

A.    Physical wellbeing: 4

My rating is at this level because my sleep patterns are regulated not by my body’s needs but by my job’s demands. So in cause of that, that takes motivations away to be active when needed to be. Work is more mentally challenging than physically beneficial. Driving for a living does not provide cardiovascular activity needed for a healthy body.

B.    Spiritual wellbeing: 1

My rate is a 1 because I have a low outlook on life. My outlook is more materialistic and external factors tend to make me happier. I believe that my affected sleep patterns are also a part of this.

C.     Psychological wellbeing: 6

My rate is at a 6 because I do not have a mental disorder, but have experienced some situational depression. I have a value for self-care and take time to try to relax in times of high stress or anxiety. Another reason why I put myself at a 6 is because I am not around enough positive relationships. I am a bit isolated as I work (driving in my car) and as I attend school (online). My interactions are mainly with my son and his father, and my next-door neighbors.  

1. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

A.    Physical- A goal for my physical well-being is to take at least 30 minuets to walk everyday or practice yoga. When my physical sense is better, I will feel better about my own image of myself.

B.    Spiritual- I could attend a non-denominational or Catholic church in my area to help my spirituality. I could simply be a guest at a Kingdom Hall with my son’s grandma & aunt to be around positive relationships. It would be as if I am killing two birds with one stone: to be in one place to help spiritual and psychological well-being.

C.     Psychological- In this pessimistic disposition and learned helplessness from being isolated, there are many kinds of activities and/ or exercises I could do to improve my life. Gaining more social support through others such as friends or family helps and is also “associated with better quality of life.” (Schlitz, Amorok, & Micozzi, 2005) If I also made changes to find another job, I would be around people. We are all wired to be around each other, socially speaking. Being around people helps us in many areas of life, to problem solve, and to find our true selves. Next in making a job change, my sleep patterns will make a switch which will affect positively in the long run in all areas of health & life. It will also make a happier me, ready to deal with the day’s ups and downs.

3. Listening to that audio was actually very relaxing for me. I seem to want to drift off to sleep when I do these exercises. But after the voice stops I wake after a few minuets. I am enjoying doing them because it helps me to wind down. This one in particular, had a very colorful rainbow involved and it was a little bit hard to envision these colored orbs coming out my body. The breathing focus is always good for me to do.